That's either the most supreme achievement in helplessness, or a bold attempt at humor. (But that's me...I sometimes don't understand extreme sarcasm, instead, I'm left gasping like a landed fish, eyes bulging, and mouth working to find words to bridge the gap between the possessor of zero culinary ability, and my overly literal mind and sub-par social skills.)
Take the humble boiled egg, for example. Perhaps the easiest item to create in the kitchen. Packed with nutrition, portable, and cheap, the possibilities are nearly endless.
I hesitate to use the word "recipe" when referring to the method for making boiled eggs. It's really more of a process, or a technique. The easiest and most practical way to boil an egg that won't leave the icky green oxidation around the outer edge of the yolk (a result of overcooking), or return a drippy undercooked product, is the famous TEN MINUTE EGG.
Simply put the eggs you wish to boil into your pot and cover them with cold water. Put the pot onto the stove and turn the burner on high. Bring to a boil and remove the pot from the hot eye. Set a timer for 10 minutes. Once the timer has rung, drain the eggs into a colander and allow to cool.
One of my favorite dishes to make with boiled eggs is the Scotch Egg. Traditionally, it's a simple, pocket-sized meal favored by the working class of the Unite Kingdom. Similar to the meat hand pies of the region, this protein-packed nugget of goodness can easily be carried to the fields or the mines, providing solid nutrition for a physically demanding day.
Although the modern Scotch Egg is made up of a hard boiled egg wrapped in bulk sausage, covered in bread crumbs and fried, the dish is roughly 200 years old and has evolved over time. Like many cultural comfort foods, Scotch Eggs are made up of what amounts to leftovers and scraps. Bits of meat would be minced and bound with bread to make a meat coating for the egg before the advent of the tubular packs of commercially made breakfast sausage that's now widely available.
6 Hard-cooked eggs
1/2 cup stale bread crumbs
1 cup minced ham or other meat
Salt and pepper to taste
2/3 cup milk
Egg and bread crumbs
Cook the eggs twenty minutes in water just below the boiling point, stand in cold water for half and hour, then remove the shells and wipe the eggs quite dry.
Here I must pause and encourage you to use the 10-minute method I listed above. I do, however, love the story-like prose so common in these old "receipt" books.
Cook the half cup of bread crumbs in the milk til thick, add the seasoning and meat and mix all together to form a rather stiff paste. Take a portion of this and press around one of the eggs smoothly with the hand, having the paste of equal thickness all over, and continue till the eggs are covered.
Again, I interject to remind modern readers that the eggs of the early 20th century and in years prior, were much smaller than today's giants. The first modern grocery store didn't even open until 1948; small general mercantile operations being the only shops that might possibly carry eggs (but mostly dry pantry and canned goods). Most people kept chickens, and eggs were simply raised at home. A cup of minced meat and 2/3 cup of milk and some stale bread crumbs would never extend to today's giant eggs.
Take a raw egg with one tablespoon of water and beat lightly; dip each of the prepared eggs into this and cover every particle with the raw egg. As soon as covered, drop onto a paper containing the stale bread crumbs, coat with these and fry in deep fat til golden brown. Cut in halves, stand cut side up, and serve plain or with white or tomato sauce or gravy.
Enjoy your own journey with boiled eggs! You can't go wrong; and if you do, simply mince them, add mayonnaise, a bit of mustard powder, seasoning, and you have egg salad.
You can't go wrong!